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Health & Fitness

The Top 20 Questions for the Married Individual

A few years ago, I found myself having a very difficult time with the couples that were in counseling. I must confess; the struggle was really entirely my fault. Couples were growing steadily in couple coaching and counseling sessions, but something was missing. I saw so much potential for growth, but they were left untapped.  Couples were working in sessions, but outside of the sessions there were a lot of room for growth.

After several consultations, I came up with 100 questions for the couples that were working on their relationships. That was one of the best and still is one of the best tools I use to get married couples on track with each other. It is one of the  best tools I use for personal growth in marriage.

This post is not about the 100 questions. I don’t want to overwhelm you. This blog post is about you starting your relationship makeover. No matter where you are in your relationship. These questions are guaranteed to get you to an even better place. I have two small requests.

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1. Be honest with yourself.

2. Take personal responsibility.

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Instructions – Work on the questions for 20 consecutive days.  Answer a question daily.  Spend about 30 minutes on each question. To maximize the experience,  break the 30 minutes in 10 minutes increments throughout the day. Share with your spouse what you are learning.

Get a notebook, a journal, or your electronic device and get to work

   1.     How would you describe your marriage?

   2.     What can you do to make it better? Be specific

   3.     What do you love about your partner?

   4.     How did your parents relate to each other?

   5.     What was your father’s main message to you about life? About you?

   6.     What was your mother’s main message to you about life? About you?

   7.     How would you describe your personality?

   8.     How confident do you feel about your role as a wife/ husband?

   9.     When have you experienced the power of forgiveness in your marriage? How did that feel?

   10.    Is there any area of your relationship where you have been judgmental toward your spouse?

   11.     How would you rate your communication skills with your spouse? Poor? Okay? Good? Great? What keep you from doing better?

   12.     Here’s what I can do to bring more affection, warmth and intimacy to my marriage?

   13.       If I could talk to an expert on sexual intimacy, I would ask this question?

   14.       Who is my example of an exemplary wife/husband?

   15.       What messages am I sending my child/children about my role as a wife/husband?

   16.       Do you know when you are getting angry? What are the triggers?

   17.      How can I romance my spouse during the day in anticipation of sex?

   18.      How do I view money in my marriage? Do we have a budget?

   19.      My spouse knows my financial history. T or F. if  F, why not?

   20.      What am I willing to do today to better my marriage?

Now you have read the questions. Are you ready to take the challenge? If you made it this far, go ahead and take the 20 days relationship adventure.

Questions: After reading these questions, will you go on this adventure? If not, what is stopping you?

Thank you for reading. To grow your relationship, please visit us at http://www.portofpeacecounseling.com



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